How to Get Your Girl to Ride (Without Her Dumping You)
August 14, 2008 by Tracey McCormick
Filed under Tips
Lucky you. After years of agonizing bachelordom you finally found a great girl. She understands your need to control the universe of the remote. She doesn’t nag you about the toilet seat. She’s a gourmet cook. Maybe she even enjoys Sportscenter. She’s athletic and beautiful and sexy and she loves you.
But she doesn’t ride. Why not?
Maybe she’s not comfortable on a bike. Or maybe she’s comfortable on a bike but has visited you in the emergency room too many times. Could be some past boyfriend ruined any chance of her ever riding again. Probably she thinks mountain biking is too hard core.
But wouldn’t it be great if the two of you could ride together? Wouldn’t it be cool if once a week the two of you could go for a jaunt or if (someday) she could come along on a group ride?
Well, she can, but she’s going to need your help. Below are Tracey’s Top Ten Rules for getting your girl to ride. The rules don’t guarantee success but might increase your chances.
Rule 1 Start the discussion.
Begin talking about how great it would be if the two of you rode together. Promise it’ll be just the two of you until she’s ready to ride with others. If she has girlfriends who ride, encourage her to ride with them a few times before she ventures out with you. If she doesn’t have any female friends of the dirt variety, find a local group of strictly female mountain bikers and drive her to her first ride. She’s intimidated by your riding ability, the sport, and her own insecurities. Tread carefully.
Rule 2 Do not overinvest.
If she doesn’t have a bike, borrow one or get a used one cheaply. Buy only the essentials: bike shorts, glove, and a helmet. A thousand dollars is a lot of money to spend on what could turn out to be only a one-day outing. You don’t want her to feel guilty about the $600 Trek spending the rest of its years in the garage.
Rule 3 Tell her the basics.
Knowing how to corner is important, but not necessary for the first ride. The most intimidating, confusing, and important things about mountain biking are shifting and braking. Give her a lesson on shifting gears and using the back brake. Tell her about cross-chaining so she doesn’t work against herself. Do this in the parking lot right before the ride so she remembers. Teach her trail etiquette and explain why uphill riders have the right-of-way. Stop there. Answer her questions, of course, but resist the urge to tell her about torque and ratios. Her eyes will glaze over under the haze of too much information.
Rule 4 Start slow.
Maybe your girl is a yoga instructor or world-class skier. Doesn’t matter. Take her on a beginner ride. Remember mountain biking is an inherently dangerous sport. Just because she’s in shape doesn’t mean she’s ready for an intermediate trail. She needs to focus on braking, gearing, and trail etiquette. Throw a rock garden or steep uphill into the mix and the chances for failure increase exponentially.
Rule 5 Be a gentleman.
Give the bike a once-over and fix any mechanicals before the ride. Get her bike off the rack for her. Put the front wheel on. Carry everything except her water. This means all tools, extra tubes, and the windbreaker.
Rule 6 Watch your language.
I’m not talking f-bombs here. I’m talking about how to give her advice while she’s on the trail. Women speak more indirectly than men. Ever notice how, if your girl wants you to take the garbage out she says, “Do you want to take the garbage out?” Of course you don’t want to take the garbage out, but she wants you to, and this is her way of asking you. Replace “You need” with “Why don’t you try” or “It might be easier for you to do x if you do y.” Practice using these phrases before you hit the trail. Remember it’s not what you say but how you say it.
Rule 7 Be patient.
There’s a good chance she’s going to get discouraged and angry as she’s fiddling with the gears and trying to stay upright. She might even yell at you—even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Whatever you do, do not yell back. She’s frustrated and wants to impress you. Try not to shake your head when she walks her bike over what looks to you like a couple of pebbles. Do not laugh when she has the fall of the century. Most importantly, stay within her field of vision. There’s nothing scarier than being left to your own devices in unfamiliar territory.
Rule 8 Watch her body language.
Even though you’ve told her “We can stop any time you want to,” she’s not going to be as vocal as she should. She knows you’re hard-core and hardly ever stop; she doesn’t want to ruin your fun. But if she’s huffing and puffing after the first half-mile, take a rest. Don’t ask her “Do you want to stop?” because chances are she’ll probably say no. If she refuses to make eye contact with you, she’s angry. If this happens, get off the bikes, enjoy the scenery, and kiss her sweaty forehead. If she wants to turn back after ten minutes, tell her the first twenty minutes of any ride are the most difficult. Determine her level of frustration/anger and decide if negotiating another ten minutes is going to be worth it.
Rule 9 Lie.
Tell her how great she’s doing even if she’s not. But don’t overdo it because her BS meter will go off. If you can’t think of anything positive to say, tell her “You’re a beautiful rider” or “You look sexy on bike.” Then you won’t have to lie.
Rule 10 Accept that this is not a real ride.
Chances are, you’re not going to get a workout: you’re going to be stopping, starting, encouraging, and explaining. Both of you are paying your dues on this initial ride, but who knows? With a little effort, patience, and tongue-biting, she could turn out to be the best riding partner you’ve ever had.
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This post was written by:
Tracey McCormick - who has written 5 posts on Mountain bike product reviews, trail reviews, forum, tips, and classifieds.
Tracey McCormick is an avid sportswoman whose number one passion is mountain biking. She loves the Southwest and has perfected the art of the solo road trip, resulting in rides all over Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, and Arizona. You can read about her other sporting adventures here: http://shespoke.wordpress.com
Excellent post guys!!!!!
Great stuff…wish i would have read this a year ago
My boyfriend got me into mountain biking about 6 months ago by doing all of these exact things and it definitely worked!
I’m sure those first couple of rides were really frustrating for him with me being the girly girl that I am, but now that I kind of know what I’m doing out there we both really enjoy it and go riding every chance we get.
I know it is an intimidating sport, ladies, but give it a chance and you will love it.
This is a GREAT post!
I love, love, love it!
*Rolling eyes heavenward in silent praise* My husband is more into road biking than mountain biking. This has been wonderful for my poor knees and great for our marriage. We have a great time together and if offers me a fantastic view. **clears throat and runs out of room blushing wildly** Yes, the scenery just can’t be beat. :)
Of course, a previous boyfriend who came on the scene many moons before I met my husband taught me to enjoy mountain biking (hence the wrecked knees, hips, and back). I loved it. He did all of the wonderful things listed above and then, after I took my third cliff and wrecked very badly (read: cracked a hip), he carried me back to his Jeep and drove me to the hospital. During the drive, he told me how brave I was to take that cliff and how much he loved having a girlfriend who shared his passions and looked so good doing so. Of course, at that moment I couldn’t walk, had snot everywhere because I had cried my eyes out, and was covered in itchy black sand. I sat there — writhing in pain — planning our next trip.
Yes, praise goes a very long way.
Did I mention that I love this post? I’m linking to it from my site in tomorrow’s post.
WOW!
Blessings!
Lacy
Razor Family Farmss last blog post..Homemade Pizza with Focaccia Crust
great practical advice that carries over into alot of things when dealing with a woman. at the risk of looking dumb…Rule 3..what is “cross-chaining”?
No need to reinvent the, ahem, wheel here. These guys say it better than I ever could: http://pedalpowerct.com/page.cfm?pageID=109.
Traceys last blog post..Teaching Your Girl To Ride A Mountain Bike
[...] out How to Get Your Girl to Ride (Without Her Dumping You) for a hilarious and sage advice from my good friend, [...]
You are all linked up to today’s Simple Living post. Goodness… I love rule 9. Could I just say that it applies to all situations — not just bike riding?
Blessings!
Lacy
I came over from Razor Family Farms. This is really good. I love number 9. I am older now and likely wouldn’t do mountain biking, but when we were first married, my husband introduced me to cycle touring. He followed the same rules here in relation to the road cycling. We did our first trip (about 600 km) and the next year, a friend and I did a 1300 km trek fully packed and over the Rocky Mountains. I still do longer distance road cycling and get my friends involve. Just like number 10, I realize I am not likely to have much of a workout, so I put 30 pounds of weight on my bike to increase my workout. Of course when I go 45 km full out, I don’t bother to take off the packs either creating a really good workout.
Glad I came and read.
Dawns last blog post..PhotoHunt Theme: Colourful
[...] you’ll try scrapbooking. Maybe she’s wanted to get into riding all along but was too scared. Maybe you followed my advice. Maybe, just maybe, she really likes it. The question is: How do you keep her [...]
DON’T DO IT!!! Yeah, that’s right… I said don’t do it! I did this about two years ago - took my fiance out for a casual ‘ride’ - see how she likes the sport and all…. Now, two years later… I can’t sleep late on the weekends anymore. I’m being dragged to the trails at the crack of dawn. Best part - I can’t keep up with her either. I’m breaking rule 6 all the time while huffing and puffing just to catch up. It’s ok… she can’t hear me cuss… she’s 5 switchbacks ahead. That extra X chromosome must stand for X-treme… or X-tra fast or X-boyfriend sucking-wind-a-mile-behind…
[...] Recently I’ve been writing about how men can get their women into mountain biking, but ultimately the decision on whether or not to ride is up to you. Thirteen years ago I had a [...]
Wow, I could have used this with a couple past relationships. In my experience getting some women even IN the saddle of a road bike is an effort, let alone in the hills. Great post!
Now you need to write an article called “How to Get Your BOY to Ride (Without Him Dumping You)….seriously…my boyfriend FORGOT how to ride a bike….but he did buy me a new Jamis for my brithday :)
Nice post. 1 comment - rule 10 is critical. I had a lot of trouble because somehow, I thought the rides would be real - they’re not (hopefully 1 day they will be, but for sure the first dozen rides or more will not be). If you accept that, you will have a better time much quicker. :)
[...] Post by: Tracey McCormick Originally posted on MTOBikes.com [...]