Putting the Hoss in the Saddle

Hoss wasn’t a brand that I was incredibly familiar with; most bike shops in my area don’t carry the brand. However, when I found myself with a gift certificate to Hoss I didn’t hesitate to order a pair of shorts because all my shorts are now snug in the waist. I blame this entirely on my wife, who shrinks all my clothes in the laundry. So after much thought, meditation, and prayer, I chose Hoss’s Stallion model. The Stallion model is a handsome board short cut and I prefer that style.

For a company not as well know as Fox, Oakley, or Pearl Izumi they did a superb job on the construction of these shorts. First off I ordered them a size larger than usual–every pair of shorts I have ever purchased for biking run small. I attribute this to a mafia conspiracy. So the fact that these shorts fit was the first plus.

The next thing I noticed was the chamois. The softest thing to ever handle my undercarriage. One of the nicest things about this chamois is the smallest and finest stitching of any chamois I’ve ever worn. I have a pair of shorts that were expensive, but they have massive stitches holding the chamois to the shorts, which gives me a very unpleasant rash on long rides. I haven’t gotten a rash yet from this chamois (plus!). Another thing I liked is the chamois on a removable mess short liner with spandex leg grippers. I haven’t ridden without the chamois yet, or swapped the liner into another short, but you could if you so choose. It’s nice to have option.  

As far as the shorts themselves they are not the most fancy or technical shorts I’ve ever seen, but they work. There is nothing bad, weird, or gimmicky about these shorts. They are simple, comfortable, and functional. The material is more durable than a standard boardshort even though the cut is pretty similar. After a full summer of riding there is no fraying in the stitching or worn spots in the material. But unlike other shorts I own, the material isn’t coarse or abrasive. This is a nice feature–when you sweat the material doesn’t feel like you dropped a belt sander on you legs. There are several zipper pockets of different sizes for your keys, Ipod, cell phone, snacks, etc. On the rear of the shorts there is an elastic 4-way stretch waistband along with a Velcro waist since for a more custom fit. These shorts seem to be higher in the back and lower in the front which is how I like my shorts to fit. They ride low enough in the front that I don’t feel like Steve Urkle on a Specialized, but also high enough in the back that those behind me don’t think I am a mountain-biking-plumber.

By now you are probably thinking since these shorts are so perfect, do they save whales and feed starving children too? No, they are not complete perfection. There is one thing I have found that I am willing to compromise on, and that’s the low-hanging crotch. I got snagged on the saddle more than a few times, causing me to lose my balance and fall. For the most part the falls happened when I had my seatpost raised for steep climbs. However, there have been some close calls on steep descents as well. Nonetheless, this is a quirk that I will deal with because of all the good stuff. If this problem would be a deal killer for you I would check out Hoss’s other model, the Ponderosa.

Honestly I would buy another pair just to have two in case one pair is dirty. I won’t have to wear any of my other shorts, ever. These are simply the best shorts I have ever worn. Check out hossmtb.com or your local shop to try a pair. For the money you can’t go wrong.

Related Posts

• April 6, 2009 -- Hoss Technical Gear’s Stallion Shorts Review
• February 25, 2009 -- Hoss Technical Gear Stallion Mountain Bike Shorts Review