Putting the Hoss in the Saddle

Hoss wasn’t a brand that I was incredibly familiar with; most bike shops in my area don’t carry the brand. However, when I found myself with a gift certificate to Hoss I didn’t hesitate to order a pair of shorts because all my shorts are now snug in the waist. I blame this entirely on my wife, who shrinks all my clothes in the laundry. So after much thought, meditation, and prayer, I chose Hoss’s Stallion model. The Stallion model is a handsome board short cut and I prefer that style.

For a company not as well know as Fox, Oakley, or Pearl Izumi they did a superb job on the construction of these shorts. First off I ordered them a size larger than usual–every pair of shorts I have ever purchased for biking run small. I attribute this to a mafia conspiracy. So the fact that these shorts fit was the first plus.

The next thing I noticed was the chamois. The softest thing to ever handle my undercarriage. One of the nicest things about this chamois is the smallest and finest stitching of any chamois I’ve ever worn. I have a pair of shorts that were expensive, but they have massive stitches holding the chamois to the shorts, which gives me a very unpleasant rash on long rides. I haven’t gotten a rash yet from this chamois (plus!). Another thing I liked is the chamois on a removable mess short liner with spandex leg grippers. I haven’t ridden without the chamois yet, or swapped the liner into another short, but you could if you so choose. It’s nice to have option.   Read more

Hoss Technical Gear’s Stallion Shorts Review

When I first got on my bike wearing the Hoss produced Stallion shorts, I swore—in both good and bad ways. On one hand, I cussed at myself for all the rides I had been on without a pair of mountain biking shorts; for all the discomfort I endured in the name of fitting in with or paying my dues to the greater mountain biking community (I thought I was enculturating myself…or earning my stripes by appreciating the purity of the ride in the absence of technical gear). On the other hand, I swore as a kind of reflex—a reaction to the astonishing comfort I felt the first time I took the saddle. Bottom line…these are a great product.

But let’s rewind this review. Before I ever took these riding shorts to the trail I had to have some sort of initial reaction to them, right? I must have had an original judgemental moment, a commencement of thought and possibly of opinion. Well, I think that moment went something like this; “Holy good-lookin’ shorts Batman!” Yes, these shorts have style. They have what I call post-ride functionality; they beg you to wear them, not just on the trail, but beyond it, to your favorite post-ride gin mill, a BBQ brisket and ribs lunch, or just around the house for the remainder of the day (I have done all three).

The Particulars

I did have some concerns as I held them out in front of me. I was immediately struck by the fact that yes, these are definitely a multi-function short; especially since the essential riding component—the padded spandex compression piece—is removable. Admittedly, at first glance this feature looked a bit odd. The shorts are essentially a two-in-one combo. The inner piece is attached to the outer shell at the hips by two thin, fragile strips of fabric with two small button-fastened loops. If you’ve ever seen Transformers, the inner piece hangs from the inside of the outer shell’s waistband like the mangled Megatron hangs from helicopter cables just before he’s dropped into the ocean. By prompting such a comparison, this feature immediately raised some durability concerns. “There is just no way these shorts will stay together when I ride,” I thought. It turns out these straps are really more of an organizational feature as they literally keep the two pieces together. Once I figured out that this odd and frail-looking suspension was not permanent—that the pieces were meant to be worn together but not attached at the hip (literally) — I felt much better about their durability. Twenty miles of testing under their belt, they have to this point held up perfectly.  Read more

Hoss Technical Gear Stallion Mountain Bike Shorts Review

For too long mountain bikers have endured some of the worst fashion options from all the major cycling clothing companies. Ironically, the cycling world has frequently intermingled with the fashion world (Ciao!), but we grubby mountain bikers have suffered through poor design and ugly styles. It seems simple, right? All we want is a decent chamois coupled to a pair of baggy shorts that don’t make us look (too) dorky. Why has this been such an elusive product? We’ve had to endure uncomfortable polyester blends, ragged and irritable elastic that rubs your butt after one wash, no pockets, that horrendous full-diaper feeling, and worst of all the ubiquitous black/khaki/disgusting-print options we’ve been offered for style. Finally, after a few decades now, we’re starting to get a few options on the market we haven’t seen before, from multiple manufacturers. I hesitate to say I see cool shorts everywhere, but we’re definitely moving in the right direction.

Fortunately for us, the good people at Hoss Technical Gear seem to have listened to the wailing complaints of the market place. Look, I ride a road bike (occasionally), and yes, I wear your typical black spandex when I’m posing as a roadie. Through most of the winter I’m a poorly disguised mountain biker logging miles on my road bike while I wait for the warmer months (just for fitness, I swear!). So I don’t mind looking like a tool, and sorry Lance, you look like a tool on your road bike. We all do, no matter how hard we try. Nobody gets into cycling for the fashion, and I can only think of a few people I would like to see in a roadie kit, and I never see them out there pedaling.  Read more