For a company not as well know as Fox, Oakley, or Pearl Izumi they did a superb job on the construction of these shorts. First off I ordered them a size larger than usual–every pair of shorts I have ever purchased for biking run small. I attribute this to a mafia conspiracy. So the fact that these shorts fit was the first plus.

The next thing I noticed was the chamois. The softest thing to ever handle my undercarriage. One of the nicest things about this chamois is the smallest and finest stitching of any chamois I’ve ever worn. I have a pair of shorts that were expensive, but they have massive stitches holding the chamois to the shorts, which gives me a very unpleasant rash on long rides. I haven’t gotten a rash yet from this chamois (plus!). Another thing I liked is the chamois on a removable mess short liner with spandex leg grippers. I haven’t ridden without the chamois yet, or swapped the liner into another short, but you could if you so choose. It’s nice to have option.  

As far as the shorts themselves they are not the most fancy or technical shorts I’ve ever seen, but they work. There is nothing bad, weird, or gimmicky about these shorts. They are simple, comfortable, and functional. The material is more durable than a standard boardshort even though the cut is pretty similar. After a full summer of riding there is no fraying in the stitching or worn spots in the material. But unlike other shorts I own, the material isn’t coarse or abrasive. This is a nice feature–when you sweat the material doesn’t feel like you dropped a belt sander on you legs. There are several zipper pockets of different sizes for your keys, Ipod, cell phone, snacks, etc. On the rear of the shorts there is an elastic 4-way stretch waistband along with a Velcro waist since for a more custom fit. These shorts seem to be higher in the back and lower in the front which is how I like my shorts to fit. They ride low enough in the front that I don’t feel like Steve Urkle on a Specialized, but also high enough in the back that those behind me don’t think I am a mountain-biking-plumber.

By now you are probably thinking since these shorts are so perfect, do they save whales and feed starving children too? No, they are not complete perfection. There is one thing I have found that I am willing to compromise on, and that’s the low-hanging crotch. I got snagged on the saddle more than a few times, causing me to lose my balance and fall. For the most part the falls happened when I had my seatpost raised for steep climbs. However, there have been some close calls on steep descents as well. Nonetheless, this is a quirk that I will deal with because of all the good stuff. If this problem would be a deal killer for you I would check out Hoss’s other model, the Ponderosa.

Honestly I would buy another pair just to have two in case one pair is dirty. I won’t have to wear any of my other shorts, ever. These are simply the best shorts I have ever worn. Check out hossmtb.com or your local shop to try a pair. For the money you can’t go wrong.

• April 6, 2009 -- Hoss Technical Gear’s Stallion Shorts Review
• February 25, 2009 -- Hoss Technical Gear Stallion Mountain Bike Shorts Review

But let’s rewind this review. Before I ever took these riding shorts to the trail I had to have some sort of initial reaction to them, right? I must have had an original judgemental moment, a commencement of thought and possibly of opinion. Well, I think that moment went something like this; “Holy good-lookin’ shorts Batman!” Yes, these shorts have style. They have what I call post-ride functionality; they beg you to wear them, not just on the trail, but beyond it, to your favorite post-ride gin mill, a BBQ brisket and ribs lunch, or just around the house for the remainder of the day (I have done all three).

The Particulars

I did have some concerns as I held them out in front of me. I was immediately struck by the fact that yes, these are definitely a multi-function short; especially since the essential riding component—the padded spandex compression piece—is removable. Admittedly, at first glance this feature looked a bit odd. The shorts are essentially a two-in-one combo. The inner piece is attached to the outer shell at the hips by two thin, fragile strips of fabric with two small button-fastened loops. If you’ve ever seen Transformers, the inner piece hangs from the inside of the outer shell’s waistband like the mangled Megatron hangs from helicopter cables just before he’s dropped into the ocean. By prompting such a comparison, this feature immediately raised some durability concerns. “There is just no way these shorts will stay together when I ride,” I thought. It turns out these straps are really more of an organizational feature as they literally keep the two pieces together. Once I figured out that this odd and frail-looking suspension was not permanent—that the pieces were meant to be worn together but not attached at the hip (literally) — I felt much better about their durability. Twenty miles of testing under their belt, they have to this point held up perfectly. 

The Ride

As far as performance goes, these shorts are all I could ask for. My foremost concern when faced with the prospect of wearing biking shorts is how much spandex is involved. In this case, quite a bit. However, the outer portion of these shorts are easily long enough to cover the spandex underneath at all times. Despite this length, they offer the rider an unrestricted range of motion. Sitting, standing, or cranking hard on the pedals in either position is all accomplished with complete freedom. They are light, breathable, and adjustable in the waist should you find them uncomfortable in that regard. The outer shell which I have already praised for its surprising good looks is made of a micro-suede polyester that is not only waterproof but also incredibly fast drying. Hoss has also endowed these shorts with three zippered pockets on the legs and a tightly velcro-ed pocket in the rear. All of these serve an important performance function: NOT letting keys or anything else fall victim to the random, innumerable (and nearly unsearchable) cracks and crevices of the trail. This is a very nice feature for those of us who instinctively and sometimes regretfully put our keys in our pockets after we lock the car.

Though I have already approved the Stallion’s durability, the one thing I can think to ask for is more of it. These shorts look as though they want to be ridden in an all-mountain kind of way. That is, their aesthetics seem to match the hard charging mentality of the median crowd (those who ride somewhere between the downhill and cross-country styles), yet they are a little thin in the stitching and fabric departments. I do appreciate that these shorts are light and airy but I also just can’t help but wonder how well they will hold up the first time they hit the dirt (I have denied the opportunity to subject them to the voluntary-endo test).

The bottom line is that these shorts offer any rider post-ride functionality, in-ride comfort and freedom of motion, lots of style points, and secure places to stash the stash-ables. The Stallions are light and airy summer time apparel and a multi-functional riding short. Hoss has crafted a solid garment for any rider.

• September 11, 2009 -- Putting the Hoss in the Saddle
• February 25, 2009 -- Hoss Technical Gear Stallion Mountain Bike Shorts Review

Fortunately for us, the good people at Hoss Technical Gear seem to have listened to the wailing complaints of the market place. Look, I ride a road bike (occasionally), and yes, I wear your typical black spandex when I’m posing as a roadie. Through most of the winter I’m a poorly disguised mountain biker logging miles on my road bike while I wait for the warmer months (just for fitness, I swear!). So I don’t mind looking like a tool, and sorry Lance, you look like a tool on your road bike. We all do, no matter how hard we try. Nobody gets into cycling for the fashion, and I can only think of a few people I would like to see in a roadie kit, and I never see them out there pedaling. 

The Hoss Stallion shorts look pretty cool. They look like a typical pair of board shorts. Very understated but hip scottish tartan plaid on black, not so different from the plain black we’re used to but a nice departure. The appropriate gussets and vents are where you would expect them to be, and the polyester shell is wonderfully slippery–perfect for sliding around in the saddle. Another great feature is the removable liner, which might keep you from having to have an extra change of clothes on hand. If you don’t totally trash them on a ride, unsnapp the chamois liner inside and you can avoid eating your post-ride meal with diaper pants. And the pockets! I rarely need more than two, but it’s nice to know they’re there. I counted five little compartments where you can keep anything you might need on a ride. The chamois leaves a little something to be desired, but I’ve yet to encounter a pair of baggies with a chamois that compares to some of the nicer road shorts.

Although I can’t quite consider these “the ultimate” mtb shorts, but Hoss has given me a confident feeling that the ultimate shorts are only a small distance off. Anyway, it’s nice to have a little variety and style where there once was none. I would recommend buying these shorts to anyone who feels baggy shorts have been grossly underdeveloped in the current market. Enjoy!

Stallion:  $59.95

Sizes:  Small – XXX-Large
Colors:  Black, Grey, Beige, Black w/Logo, Black w/Plaid

• September 11, 2009 -- Putting the Hoss in the Saddle
• April 6, 2009 -- Hoss Technical Gear’s Stallion Shorts Review